Beach Trip

Hubby surprised me with a trip to the beach for the memorial holiday weekend ...so very sweet of him to do that. Wilmington NC and Pleasure Island have become my favorite home away from home. But to be totally honest this weekend I wasn't that in awe about the place, not sure why-- just really exhausted and tired. Didn't fell good about myself because I have been gaining weight and it is 100% my own fault, I am the one who chooses what I put in my body and the one who doesn't do any exercise..I am the statistic that assumed this was the magic fix and thought I wouldn't have to put any effort into it . Now I am wishing that I'd had the gastric bypass instead of the sleeve !! I have a cousin who had the bypass recently and she's lost a lot mor weight than I have and it's only been a few months -- so I am feeling really bad about myself ...

Anemia

Well apparently I am now anemic, and I am wondering I HOW--I eat plenty as is obvious my my recent weight issues.. so how can I be anemic--this haseally got me concerned . Will find out what the doctors next move will be . He has already given me a prescription iron pill and it is still going down instead of up , so I don't know what he will want to do . I know that I am going to do some online research and see which food combinations are the most effective for iron levels.


And now I am all the way up to 158 --that is almost 20 pound weight gain --I KNEW I would be part of the statistic that fails - I seem to fail t everything else and it's completely my own fault. I didn;t follow the diet restrictions and guidelines I just had this thought in my head that yep I can have that soda and that chocolate bar-- it's not gonna matter cause I had the sleeve--well let my failure be a warning to you IT DOES MATTER-- and if you are looking at this option Please, I beg of you follow the rules, and utilize the support group -- I don't do those things...and I am afraid to go to the support group meeting now because I don't want people to see me as a failure and think that I wasted a great opportunity to stay healthy and so many other people want this opportunity and can't get it for whatever reason . I knoe logically that the support group is exactly where I need to be -- I know that people won't judge me but I can't get the disapproving look fear out of my mind- so it prevents me from going to one

forgettin

Almost a whole year since I have posted anything at all....I can only say that I have just been to darn laxy to get up and the get the laptop and type.
  Well I have to sadly report that I am one of the statistics...I went from 144 to 156 and I ca not get below 150 . So yeah I am the one who didn't listen to the dietary guidelines and drank soda and even ate candy !and now every morning I get on the scale and then feel like such a failure. My mother even said I didn't deserve the surgery because I didn't truly appreciate it -- She has never been a maternal type of mother to me anyway, but I hold on to the hope that one day she will come around and I treat her as well as I possibly can because it's the right thing to do and I want to teach my children how to treat people ........
Anyway back to the weight gain. I feel very ashamed of what I did. I am starting today and eat much better--and yes I have sad that a million times, but I mean it for sure this time,