-3

so I got on the scale this week and I have finally lost 3lbs, WHEW it's about time, I thought maybe my weight loss was complete and that was the most I was going to lose. I had convinced myself that I would be ok with that, but to be honest I wasn't. I was dreaming of the small clothes and hearing someone call me skinny !
 I have started working out a little . I have had to start slowly- Paul bought me an elliptical machine for an early christmas present and I have been getting up early and adding a minute a day to my time. Sadly I am only up to 8 minutes today. I know it's not a lot but I think it's better than 0..... and I have been doing a lot more yard work such as raking and clearing some brush which seems to be toning my muscles because they're sore, and my yard looks better

Well I blew it again yesterday !!! I couldn't resist the temptation to grab a sugary snack --I did manage to choose celery and peanut butter instead of a candy bar from the hotel lobby store. And I drank more water yesterday and made it a priority to drink as much as I could possibly drink- Getting the recommended amount of water is truly a chore and you have to be very vigilant about it- and by that I mean you really have to be the kind of person who is alway seen with a bottle of water in hand and remember to sip as much as you can. I have found a few creative ways to make this happen, I bought myself a really pretty insulated cup and I fill it with ice water to keep it cold all day - which for me is easier to drink than room temperature water.
  The vitamin intake has become easier and on most days I am able to get all of my vitamins and keep them down, so the learning process is getting easier and easier. I have been walking as much as I can during the day , I take the baby and the dog and it gets them out of this room and into some fresh air , while I am getting my daily cardio exercise .
  I still have high cholesterol but it's 20 points lower than the last time -without any medication, I added coq10 and red yeast rice to my supplements and that combined with the fish oil has drastically lowered my levels. My A1C level was awesome too only4.8 super super good - I am now no longer classified as having type 2 diabetes YAY

So disappointed --it's been over 3 weeks and I haven't lost ANY weight , barely even a few ounces - I don't understand what I am not doing right . I did visit the Dr and he mentioned that the weight loss will slow at some point- and 50 pounds is a good amoutn to lose on 4 months ! Guess sometimes I just expect it to "melt away" and disappear like magice, and it is completely true when they tell you that bariatric surgery isn't a magic fix, but a tool to teach you how to lose weight and eat properly. So maybe the sips of soda and the daily bites of chocolate have hindered my future success. Yep I am one of the ones who said eh a few sips or bites won't hurt my weight loss WRONG- so take it from me only put the absolutely healthiest food in your small stomach. It really will effect the outcome . And it will seem like an ok idea at first but the second you read the scale you will know that I am right and wished that you had heeded my advice.
I have vowed to not " cheat " anymore I only want to put healthy stuff in my body from now on. I want to feel AND look better - I am satisfied with the 50 pounds but I would be lying if I said I didn't want to lose more . My goal is 20 more pounds, to weigh 130 . I can and will get to that point through proper nutrition and exercise . I really should try to make it to one of the support group meetings , they really help me to listen to others who know what I am facing and give great advice about dealing with the issues, so if you have the chance to go to a support group meeting I say go and give it a shot

ok so my weight loss has stalled to 50 pounds for over a month- so I am very disappointed right now, but trying to think positive. I keep telling my husband that if this is all I lose I will be happy, but deep down that isn't true. I had visions of being smaller than a size 11 and finally being able to go into the trendy stores at the mall and actually being able to buy something other than socks !
 I have to admit though the hair loss that has accompanied my extreme diet change is really depressing. Most days especially lately I have regretted the surgery because every morning I find a wad of hair in the shower drain and the brushes , I know that my hair is supposed to grow back but it is so depressing to see all that hair in the brish. I have purchased the hair vitamins and as many home remedies for thinning hair as i can possibly find. So if you are considering this then please think about how Vain you are about your hair, and if you don't think you can deal with the hair loss- talk to others at a support group and see how they reacted to the hair loss. I have read that it will grow back and stop at about the 6 month after surgery mark - which means I only have one more month before I reach that point. But if you are dealing with this issue already try avocado oil- it's supposed to stimulate hair follicles. Heres a link that I found useful and I tried the avocado and egg hair mask and it was very messy and my hair felt really weird and straw like even after conditioner. and the avocado oil treatment said to not shampoo but it made my hair very very oily, So i had to shampoo my hair afterwards to remove some of the greasy look. But I have started to notice that their is fewer hairs in the shower .I also went to Sally's beauty supply and purchased the nutri-ox starter system for visibly thin hair. I am hoping that with all the vitamins, home remedies and treatments that my hair stops falling out.
https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&aq=&oq=avoc&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4TSNO_enUS487US487&q=avocado+good+for+hair+loss&gs_l=hp..6.0l4j41l3.0.0.0.7132...........0.rGMwsezqgJY&pbx=1

Vitamins

I have decided that my new smaller stomach can not tolerate a multivitamin. Since week 2 after surgery I have tried taking them in many different ways --with food =, on an empty stomach, by itself any trick that I could come up with, simply because I have always tried to take a multivitamin along with many other supplements. I am saddened that I can't do this any longer .I have some flinstone vitamins that I bought for my two year old and he won't take them .( he only likes the gummy ones).I am going to try and take them tonight and see if I can tolerate them. The other ones make me throw up , I thought I was through with the vomiting stage of this process, but I am starting to think that's gonna be a part of the rest of my life. Maybe (hopefully) once I learn what my body can and can't tolerate their won't be anymore vomiting episodes. I am going to consult Dr.Google and Dr. webmd to see if this is a common occurrence in weight loss surgery patients.I want to be healthier and I know weight loss will be a good thing, BUT if I can't eat the amount of fruits and vegetables that is recommended for a healthy lifestyle and I get medical conditions that could've been prevented with proper nutrition -then was the weight loss surgery a help ???????
 I have stalled at weight loss also this week and I know it is because of the bag of salt and vinegar chips I bought as a snack on the boat Saturday...gotta learn to snack on veggies and not junk food--maybe I should have investigated my reasons for eating too much before the surgery , because some days I make bad choices.

much better

Things have gotten much better lately.no major issues with throwing up in a few weeks.I have learned how to judge portion control much better. I still have days when I eat too fast or when I eat a little too much.I assume that is just gonna be a part of my life forever.
On a happy note Paul has been gushing over how much weight I have lost, and yesterday he came home from work and picked me up and sit me on the counter ( yep just like the country song ) It was such an accomplished feeling --not sure of any other way to describe it .i have to admit I do feel sexier when I put on a pair of jeans or shorts and even more so when they are too big !!!The latter of which is happening quite often lately..I am looking forward to jeans and sweater weather so I can properly fit into sweaters and wear my beloved boots ! I have been going to garage sales and thrift stores and just purchasing a few new smaller items - knowing that I will most liekly not be wearing them for long ---ah so nice to say that with confidence

163

Things have gotten so much better the past few days, I have worked harder to control portion sizes and eat slower. The portion control is much easier for me to master than eating slow. Not sure why but i have always ate fast...even as a child I at that way.
Still can't tolerate beef products very well, last night Paul cooked a very good cut of steak and i could only eat 3 pieces, even though it tasted so good, my body seemed disgusted by every chew, So I guess I will have to phase beef out of my diet - which won't be so bad because it isn't good for my cholesterol anyway. Speaking of cholesterol I went to my follow up with my family Dr and my cholesterol was 273--CRAP--I was hoping it would go down after surgery but so far it hasn't. He wanted me to take statin medication to lower it. I do not like the idea of taking a statin, I know that if i thought about all me medication I more than likely wouldn't want it either. I am working on the low cholesterol foods. But eggs are one of my main protein sources . my bariatric surgeon said that eggs have gotten a bad rap -but that they are a very good source of protein, i honestly haven't found a protein shake that I like at least not after the first glass or two anyway.
I have lost 6 more punds down to 163, I went to a baby shower for a cousin and gor a few compliments about how great I looked -mostly from those who knew about the surgery . I feel that a few were a little upset that I was losing the weight --but that is their issue not mine .
I feel like a million bucks =, it is so awesome to buy clothing in a smaller sixe or to put on something and look in the mirror and notice how it looks instead of automatically checking to see if my fat roll is showing !!! Vain I know but its still great. although I still go straight to 2x when I look on the racks for clothing....i got some size 12 pants from ebay and they Zip--I won't say fit becsue they still squeeze out the fluff and give me the dreaded muffin top--and i don't want to look on the internet and see myself as the star of one of those just becaus it zips doesn't mean it fits photos...

Again---

Well  thought I had finally learned how to eat the right amount and not ge sick..NOPE -yesterday I made prok chops, Mac n cheese and Baked beans...I love the beans and mac ncheese together , and i think I ate them too fast. After dinner we had to run to walmart for more milk and a few other items and as soon as i got out of the truck I could to that familiar rumbling and full feeling in my throat, I did the best I could to push it away from my mind, but after only a minute in the store- I had no choice but to go running to the bathroom.Thankfully the family bathroom was open and I used that one, Not so lucky a few minutes later when my body decided to rid itself of the rest of my dinner. Thowing up is bad, but in public around strangers was worse for me..Never again will leave the room or house until I know my food has settled..I have had enough of roadside vomiting episodes to learn to eat slowly on the way home or here to Apex and to not eat too much. I think I was mindlessly eating yesterday and either ate too much or too fast.Had to be the latter because I have been very careful about my portion sizes.  So if you are reading this and contmeplating the gastric sleeve, then please make sure to eat slowly and follow the recommended diet --turns out they really know their stuff LOL

8/13/12

today has started off OK...I eat some shredded wheat cereal about five pieces of the mini wheats and 1/4 cup of milk. I need the fiber from the cereal so I'm hoping that it has a sufficient amount of protein, and i will make a high protein lunch maybe even a protein shake . I read the nutrition info on the triscuits and the cheese and think it's a good snack choice. I Can tolerate two crackers with cheese on them as a snack -I am gonna try my biscoff spread on them with my cup of tea for my afternoon snack or nutella or peanut butter..so many choices become available when you open your mind to new options. 
  I noticed that my skin in areas is starting to sag and look wrinkly, I had hopes that magically I would be the one who didn't get that--course the fact that I don't work out could be one reason. I have the gym here all week open and available, i just never take advantage of it :(    Maybe this evening I will get the ipod and go take a walk on the treadmill or outside in the fresh air ....

another day

Yesterday was a bad snacking day for me --:(         I grazed most of the day on trail mix and popcorn, I know this is a no-no , my willpower just wasn't strong enough to resist the temptation yesterday. I am thinking maybe I shoildve drank more water , maybe I was mistaking thirst for hunger ! I noticed too that on the days when I drank a few cups of hot tea I also eat less. Coincidence? Maybe who knows ..All I know is it works and its a relaxing ritual too, more so when the AC is cranked up and i am cold.   Another side effect I recently realized is that some people have trouble regulating their body temperature after WLS--I wonder if its because we are losing the insulating fat that kept us warm ???? I used to keep my bedroom meat-locker cold and still turn on my ceiling fan on high while using no covers just a sheet. Now however paul turns the motel AC down to 63 and I sleep in thick pajama pants and a t-shirt while cuddling under two-three blankets and still shivering,, most nights I have to turn on my heating pad and lay it in front of me because I am so cold.
 I have to make my appoinments for the surgical center follow up that I missed. I did go to the first one after surgery but missed the one month appintment-probably not a good idea to skip those.
On  good note Paul was stretching me yesterday ( to help with the back and kneck pain from my fibromyalgia) and he made a comment that y shorts were just falling off and too big-----AHHHHH those are the words any women who has or is struggling with her weight longs to hear. I smiled and felt my inner diva do a backflip, and said yeah i know I am in between sizes 16 is too big and 14 was  still too tight this weekend when I tried them on, I am going ot try some size 14 again to see if they are more comfortable this week. I gotta tell ya it feels so amazing to put on a formerly tight article of clothing and not have to suck in my belly to fasten them , and it feels even more wonderful to realize that i have room to pull the waistband away from my stomach....I bought a beautiful sundress that is my goal size --I don't think I am gonna make it into that dress before winter --but it's ok because  I know that this time next summer I can put it on and feel ok ....thrift stores are gonn abe my favorite place this next year --I can biy clothes in my new size, and not spend a ton of money on them ---plus it's gonna feel great ot try on the clothes i used to yearn to wear

good weekend

166 pounds......


I had a good weekend as far as my meal and food consumption ...I was very careful of what and how much I ate and I never got sick or the too full feeling the entire weekend, that's a majot milestone for me..I managed ot eat the protein first and didn't eat any unhealthy snacks, i id buy me some bubble gum though ..just couldn't resist it . On the trip here to apex, i got trail mix instead of chocolate or chips as my snack..and I got water no soda or sugary drink...very proud of my choices this wekend and at the grocery store today to get meals for the rest of the week here, I made better choices than I have been for myslef and for Aiden..no sugary treats, I got him cheese sticks and triscuit crackers. I did buy him the chocolate syrup he likes in his milk, but so far that's the easiest way to get him to drink enough milk through the day, and i think its a better choice than koolaid and fruit juices

Ahh

Well dinner last night went GREAT---I ordered my glass of moscato and a salad as my main course, and took my time eating my meal and really enjoyed the flavors and the wine, I concentrated on conversation instead of food or my eating habits. I don't even think anyone paid any attention to what I was or wasn't eating. We all had a good time talking about life and laughing over the silly stories the guys told us. I was very nervous the first few minutes but soon overcame that and just relaxed.I did miss being able to order a huge platter of italian food and eting the yummy bread and marinara sauce, but I can 100 % say that I prefer the healthy feeling and new body I am developing much more than the huge plate of food....so my first scary event is over and I survived. Hopefully if anyone is reading this before surgery and has this fear or just wondering how different life will be this has helped answer that question a little.Yes I enjoyed the company instead of the food, the old me would have ordered a decadent dish that I couldn't make t home and probably ate most of it , but the old me is gone and the new me is here to stay, I am liking her a lot these days ! It's just like any new friendship or relationship, it takes time to adjust to each other and then once you adjust ya just fit together in a way that works...  I am learning new ways of living and mourning the old ones, yes as odd as that sounds I do miss my relationship with food some days, but I am enjoying the path this journey is taking me into.....for me it's not an easy road , but my grandma always said I would appreciate things more the harder I worked for them and she as the smartest woman I knew...I know she is proud of my choices and the steps I have taken !!!

Today's the day

Well today is the day, My 1st time eating out in a restaurant since surgery ...I am trying to think positive about it....
Yesterday I worked harder at slowing down my pace, and I spent time concentrating on each bite, and enjoying the flavor and texture of each bite, instead of wolfing it down like the old me used to do..Which got me into horrible medical and physical shape..I am so happy that my diabetes is GONE and I no longer have to check my sugar so many times a day or worry about how each meal is gonna make me feel..I have had such an odd relationship with food the past decade of my life. Now I am working on eating to live instead of living to eat... I have found others comfort things to take the place of comfort foods...I really enjoy cross stitching so far and am hoping that I can learn to knit or crochet or maybe both, then when I would normally go to the kitchen for a comfort food/snack I will just pick up whatever craft project I am working on instead..Plus if I do it well I can give them as gifts, I would really enjoy knitting items for preemie babies and donate them to the local hospital and make tiny outfits for babies who are stillborn or are born too soon to survive.( as my Allison was).She was tiny and all the photos the hospital took she didn't have clothing just wrapped in a small towel...
I have decided that I will order a chicken meal or maybe eggplant parmesan and make sure I cut it very small and chew it very well, and I am still gonna order my glass of wine and sip it slowly too, that's a luxury that I will keep even though I am not supposed to drink any liquid with meals. I think it's gonna make it feel less of a sacrifice , and then after I have adjusted better to my new way of eating, I will feel better at restaurants ..I was told to just order water and take tiny sips so thats something I might try too....I just really enjoy having that one glass of wine at restaurants, I especially like it when it isone that I haven't tried before that way I don't waste money on a whole bottle if I don't like it...
Oh and I put an my shorts this morning and they were too big , even more so than last week--so that of course made me very happy. I am so looking forward to shopping for the cute jeans and sweaters this winter and this time I won't have to look for a size big enought to hide my fat roll....so even tough I have some tough issues to face and days when I question my decision,,,I have even more days when I am very proud of me for making this step toward a better future.

Rough Night

Last night for dinner I made a pot of Pinto beans and today I ma gonna make chili with the leftovers. I did some research on the nutritional Valus of pinto beans and I was surprised at how nutritional they are..and if I add some brown rice with them its practically a nutritional powerhouse..I have to MAKE myself eat slowly, so I would take 2 - 3 beans at a time and literally count to 20 as I chewed , it wasn't too hard to do, I managed to get through about 3/4 a cup and then felt full.But I wanted to eat so much more because I loved the taste, I kne however that i couldn't. I am trying ot adapt a new strategy of making my meal on a saucer instead of a plate and measuring the proper amount of food that I should be eating, then putiing away the extras so that I won't be tempted to try and eat more than I can physically tolerate.Because I still haven't realized how to actually eat slow enough that my brain gets the signal that I am full, and i tend to overeat and it never ends well. Last night Paul bought a pre-packaged sub sandwich from the deli for us to have today at lunch and I couldn't resist so about 10pm I cut off a small slice off thinking it would be ok, NOPE almost immediately I fel that very uncomfortable to full feeling, and within minutes of the last bite I was vomiting, it was painful this time and so much so that my face swelled and looked purple from the episode, I have got to let go of my love for food....it is my toughest issue to deal with since the surgery

1st post

Today is my first post on this new blog, I hope to help others who are going through the same issues I had and still have regarding weight loss surgery.
 I had the gastric sleeve on June 21 2012, It was a decision that has given me many emotions since I started researching both before and after surgery. I struggled before with how people would view me for making this decision, and I was excited at the prospect of being a new person. I feared that some would say I was lazy and took the easy way out, and that I didn't really work to lose the weight. This as i learned was so far from the truth. Because this journey has been hard,and a lot of work.BUT the results payoff and you see progress much easier.
I am 39 and before surgery weighed 200 pounds and had Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and degenerative disk disease in my spine. I have PCOS which makes weight loss very tough. Now just a few weeks after surgery , my diabetes is GONE, yes gone completely,my BP neds were cut to 1/4 th the usual dose, I have not had my cholesterol level checked yet though. My back pain has decreased so much that i no longer take three or four medications to make it through the day. i have lost 31 pounds in all, 9 being from the pre-op liquid diet I was required to do before surgery.
 I have many days where I truly miss food, I think I am hungry, but in reality it's only ''head hunger''. I sometimes mourn my relationship with food. And often miss certain foods. I do however try and eat these foods but I learn quickly my mistake. I tried to eat solid foods way to soon after surgery and I would be so sick and throw up .It was painful and the feeling that something is stick in your chest is very uncomfortable, so if you are reading this and thinking you can do the same, please don't.OR go ahead just one time and I am sure that you will regret the pain and misery. I strongly suggest you stick to your food plan.
 I am now eating solid foods and learning how little it takes to make me full, I have to learn to slow down because if I eat too fast then I get overfull, and of course I Vomit . ( not a great feeling) I had a tough time with the liquid food phase and the soft food phase , i completely skipped the pureed phase and moved right to solids. I think I may have lost even more weight if i hadn't tried to advance through the stages on my own. I am so addicted to chocolate that I devised a way to still eat it after surgery. i take small bites --and i realize now that it's unhealthy and I think it has also hindered my weight loss, my loss has stalled to barely a pound a week. And i know for sure that it is because of my eating habits. I know that I need to seek some counseling and redirect my focus onto healthy foods, so I am being painfully honest here so that others will hopefully read this and learn from my mistakes.
Getting the required protein is very tough too, in the workshops they teach you te eat protein first and most of the time I do that, however some days my craving for the not so healthy foods wins and I fill up on less nutritional foods first and do not get as much protein as i could. I haven't noticed the extreme hair loss that they want you will happen if you don't get enough protein, but I do see more hair on the brush and pillow lately, as i am vain about my hair I now focus more closely on protein choices and vegetables. I am able to eat about one cup of food total each meal.The egg beaters are excellent for me. I tried many protein shakes and powders and just can't seem to find the right one for me yet. I do enjoy the many different types of beans that are available to me and am concentrating on those. I learned with pintos and kidney beans I can smush them and add flavors like taco seasoning and it is great. I also sprinkle them with chili powder and dry mustard and celery seed and let them marinate overnight then heat up slowly and mash them, it has a good flavor for me and protein too. I was thinking of experimenting with adding unflavored protein powder to the refried beans but haven't done that yet, and honestly I don't think I will.