Again---

Well  thought I had finally learned how to eat the right amount and not ge sick..NOPE -yesterday I made prok chops, Mac n cheese and Baked beans...I love the beans and mac ncheese together , and i think I ate them too fast. After dinner we had to run to walmart for more milk and a few other items and as soon as i got out of the truck I could to that familiar rumbling and full feeling in my throat, I did the best I could to push it away from my mind, but after only a minute in the store- I had no choice but to go running to the bathroom.Thankfully the family bathroom was open and I used that one, Not so lucky a few minutes later when my body decided to rid itself of the rest of my dinner. Thowing up is bad, but in public around strangers was worse for me..Never again will leave the room or house until I know my food has settled..I have had enough of roadside vomiting episodes to learn to eat slowly on the way home or here to Apex and to not eat too much. I think I was mindlessly eating yesterday and either ate too much or too fast.Had to be the latter because I have been very careful about my portion sizes.  So if you are reading this and contmeplating the gastric sleeve, then please make sure to eat slowly and follow the recommended diet --turns out they really know their stuff LOL

8/13/12

today has started off OK...I eat some shredded wheat cereal about five pieces of the mini wheats and 1/4 cup of milk. I need the fiber from the cereal so I'm hoping that it has a sufficient amount of protein, and i will make a high protein lunch maybe even a protein shake . I read the nutrition info on the triscuits and the cheese and think it's a good snack choice. I Can tolerate two crackers with cheese on them as a snack -I am gonna try my biscoff spread on them with my cup of tea for my afternoon snack or nutella or peanut butter..so many choices become available when you open your mind to new options. 
  I noticed that my skin in areas is starting to sag and look wrinkly, I had hopes that magically I would be the one who didn't get that--course the fact that I don't work out could be one reason. I have the gym here all week open and available, i just never take advantage of it :(    Maybe this evening I will get the ipod and go take a walk on the treadmill or outside in the fresh air ....

another day

Yesterday was a bad snacking day for me --:(         I grazed most of the day on trail mix and popcorn, I know this is a no-no , my willpower just wasn't strong enough to resist the temptation yesterday. I am thinking maybe I shoildve drank more water , maybe I was mistaking thirst for hunger ! I noticed too that on the days when I drank a few cups of hot tea I also eat less. Coincidence? Maybe who knows ..All I know is it works and its a relaxing ritual too, more so when the AC is cranked up and i am cold.   Another side effect I recently realized is that some people have trouble regulating their body temperature after WLS--I wonder if its because we are losing the insulating fat that kept us warm ???? I used to keep my bedroom meat-locker cold and still turn on my ceiling fan on high while using no covers just a sheet. Now however paul turns the motel AC down to 63 and I sleep in thick pajama pants and a t-shirt while cuddling under two-three blankets and still shivering,, most nights I have to turn on my heating pad and lay it in front of me because I am so cold.
 I have to make my appoinments for the surgical center follow up that I missed. I did go to the first one after surgery but missed the one month appintment-probably not a good idea to skip those.
On  good note Paul was stretching me yesterday ( to help with the back and kneck pain from my fibromyalgia) and he made a comment that y shorts were just falling off and too big-----AHHHHH those are the words any women who has or is struggling with her weight longs to hear. I smiled and felt my inner diva do a backflip, and said yeah i know I am in between sizes 16 is too big and 14 was  still too tight this weekend when I tried them on, I am going ot try some size 14 again to see if they are more comfortable this week. I gotta tell ya it feels so amazing to put on a formerly tight article of clothing and not have to suck in my belly to fasten them , and it feels even more wonderful to realize that i have room to pull the waistband away from my stomach....I bought a beautiful sundress that is my goal size --I don't think I am gonna make it into that dress before winter --but it's ok because  I know that this time next summer I can put it on and feel ok ....thrift stores are gonn abe my favorite place this next year --I can biy clothes in my new size, and not spend a ton of money on them ---plus it's gonna feel great ot try on the clothes i used to yearn to wear

good weekend

166 pounds......


I had a good weekend as far as my meal and food consumption ...I was very careful of what and how much I ate and I never got sick or the too full feeling the entire weekend, that's a majot milestone for me..I managed ot eat the protein first and didn't eat any unhealthy snacks, i id buy me some bubble gum though ..just couldn't resist it . On the trip here to apex, i got trail mix instead of chocolate or chips as my snack..and I got water no soda or sugary drink...very proud of my choices this wekend and at the grocery store today to get meals for the rest of the week here, I made better choices than I have been for myslef and for Aiden..no sugary treats, I got him cheese sticks and triscuit crackers. I did buy him the chocolate syrup he likes in his milk, but so far that's the easiest way to get him to drink enough milk through the day, and i think its a better choice than koolaid and fruit juices

Ahh

Well dinner last night went GREAT---I ordered my glass of moscato and a salad as my main course, and took my time eating my meal and really enjoyed the flavors and the wine, I concentrated on conversation instead of food or my eating habits. I don't even think anyone paid any attention to what I was or wasn't eating. We all had a good time talking about life and laughing over the silly stories the guys told us. I was very nervous the first few minutes but soon overcame that and just relaxed.I did miss being able to order a huge platter of italian food and eting the yummy bread and marinara sauce, but I can 100 % say that I prefer the healthy feeling and new body I am developing much more than the huge plate of food....so my first scary event is over and I survived. Hopefully if anyone is reading this before surgery and has this fear or just wondering how different life will be this has helped answer that question a little.Yes I enjoyed the company instead of the food, the old me would have ordered a decadent dish that I couldn't make t home and probably ate most of it , but the old me is gone and the new me is here to stay, I am liking her a lot these days ! It's just like any new friendship or relationship, it takes time to adjust to each other and then once you adjust ya just fit together in a way that works...  I am learning new ways of living and mourning the old ones, yes as odd as that sounds I do miss my relationship with food some days, but I am enjoying the path this journey is taking me into.....for me it's not an easy road , but my grandma always said I would appreciate things more the harder I worked for them and she as the smartest woman I knew...I know she is proud of my choices and the steps I have taken !!!

Today's the day

Well today is the day, My 1st time eating out in a restaurant since surgery ...I am trying to think positive about it....
Yesterday I worked harder at slowing down my pace, and I spent time concentrating on each bite, and enjoying the flavor and texture of each bite, instead of wolfing it down like the old me used to do..Which got me into horrible medical and physical shape..I am so happy that my diabetes is GONE and I no longer have to check my sugar so many times a day or worry about how each meal is gonna make me feel..I have had such an odd relationship with food the past decade of my life. Now I am working on eating to live instead of living to eat... I have found others comfort things to take the place of comfort foods...I really enjoy cross stitching so far and am hoping that I can learn to knit or crochet or maybe both, then when I would normally go to the kitchen for a comfort food/snack I will just pick up whatever craft project I am working on instead..Plus if I do it well I can give them as gifts, I would really enjoy knitting items for preemie babies and donate them to the local hospital and make tiny outfits for babies who are stillborn or are born too soon to survive.( as my Allison was).She was tiny and all the photos the hospital took she didn't have clothing just wrapped in a small towel...
I have decided that I will order a chicken meal or maybe eggplant parmesan and make sure I cut it very small and chew it very well, and I am still gonna order my glass of wine and sip it slowly too, that's a luxury that I will keep even though I am not supposed to drink any liquid with meals. I think it's gonna make it feel less of a sacrifice , and then after I have adjusted better to my new way of eating, I will feel better at restaurants ..I was told to just order water and take tiny sips so thats something I might try too....I just really enjoy having that one glass of wine at restaurants, I especially like it when it isone that I haven't tried before that way I don't waste money on a whole bottle if I don't like it...
Oh and I put an my shorts this morning and they were too big , even more so than last week--so that of course made me very happy. I am so looking forward to shopping for the cute jeans and sweaters this winter and this time I won't have to look for a size big enought to hide my fat roll....so even tough I have some tough issues to face and days when I question my decision,,,I have even more days when I am very proud of me for making this step toward a better future.

Rough Night

Last night for dinner I made a pot of Pinto beans and today I ma gonna make chili with the leftovers. I did some research on the nutritional Valus of pinto beans and I was surprised at how nutritional they are..and if I add some brown rice with them its practically a nutritional powerhouse..I have to MAKE myself eat slowly, so I would take 2 - 3 beans at a time and literally count to 20 as I chewed , it wasn't too hard to do, I managed to get through about 3/4 a cup and then felt full.But I wanted to eat so much more because I loved the taste, I kne however that i couldn't. I am trying ot adapt a new strategy of making my meal on a saucer instead of a plate and measuring the proper amount of food that I should be eating, then putiing away the extras so that I won't be tempted to try and eat more than I can physically tolerate.Because I still haven't realized how to actually eat slow enough that my brain gets the signal that I am full, and i tend to overeat and it never ends well. Last night Paul bought a pre-packaged sub sandwich from the deli for us to have today at lunch and I couldn't resist so about 10pm I cut off a small slice off thinking it would be ok, NOPE almost immediately I fel that very uncomfortable to full feeling, and within minutes of the last bite I was vomiting, it was painful this time and so much so that my face swelled and looked purple from the episode, I have got to let go of my love for food....it is my toughest issue to deal with since the surgery

1st post

Today is my first post on this new blog, I hope to help others who are going through the same issues I had and still have regarding weight loss surgery.
 I had the gastric sleeve on June 21 2012, It was a decision that has given me many emotions since I started researching both before and after surgery. I struggled before with how people would view me for making this decision, and I was excited at the prospect of being a new person. I feared that some would say I was lazy and took the easy way out, and that I didn't really work to lose the weight. This as i learned was so far from the truth. Because this journey has been hard,and a lot of work.BUT the results payoff and you see progress much easier.
I am 39 and before surgery weighed 200 pounds and had Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and degenerative disk disease in my spine. I have PCOS which makes weight loss very tough. Now just a few weeks after surgery , my diabetes is GONE, yes gone completely,my BP neds were cut to 1/4 th the usual dose, I have not had my cholesterol level checked yet though. My back pain has decreased so much that i no longer take three or four medications to make it through the day. i have lost 31 pounds in all, 9 being from the pre-op liquid diet I was required to do before surgery.
 I have many days where I truly miss food, I think I am hungry, but in reality it's only ''head hunger''. I sometimes mourn my relationship with food. And often miss certain foods. I do however try and eat these foods but I learn quickly my mistake. I tried to eat solid foods way to soon after surgery and I would be so sick and throw up .It was painful and the feeling that something is stick in your chest is very uncomfortable, so if you are reading this and thinking you can do the same, please don't.OR go ahead just one time and I am sure that you will regret the pain and misery. I strongly suggest you stick to your food plan.
 I am now eating solid foods and learning how little it takes to make me full, I have to learn to slow down because if I eat too fast then I get overfull, and of course I Vomit . ( not a great feeling) I had a tough time with the liquid food phase and the soft food phase , i completely skipped the pureed phase and moved right to solids. I think I may have lost even more weight if i hadn't tried to advance through the stages on my own. I am so addicted to chocolate that I devised a way to still eat it after surgery. i take small bites --and i realize now that it's unhealthy and I think it has also hindered my weight loss, my loss has stalled to barely a pound a week. And i know for sure that it is because of my eating habits. I know that I need to seek some counseling and redirect my focus onto healthy foods, so I am being painfully honest here so that others will hopefully read this and learn from my mistakes.
Getting the required protein is very tough too, in the workshops they teach you te eat protein first and most of the time I do that, however some days my craving for the not so healthy foods wins and I fill up on less nutritional foods first and do not get as much protein as i could. I haven't noticed the extreme hair loss that they want you will happen if you don't get enough protein, but I do see more hair on the brush and pillow lately, as i am vain about my hair I now focus more closely on protein choices and vegetables. I am able to eat about one cup of food total each meal.The egg beaters are excellent for me. I tried many protein shakes and powders and just can't seem to find the right one for me yet. I do enjoy the many different types of beans that are available to me and am concentrating on those. I learned with pintos and kidney beans I can smush them and add flavors like taco seasoning and it is great. I also sprinkle them with chili powder and dry mustard and celery seed and let them marinate overnight then heat up slowly and mash them, it has a good flavor for me and protein too. I was thinking of experimenting with adding unflavored protein powder to the refried beans but haven't done that yet, and honestly I don't think I will.