1st post

Today is my first post on this new blog, I hope to help others who are going through the same issues I had and still have regarding weight loss surgery.
 I had the gastric sleeve on June 21 2012, It was a decision that has given me many emotions since I started researching both before and after surgery. I struggled before with how people would view me for making this decision, and I was excited at the prospect of being a new person. I feared that some would say I was lazy and took the easy way out, and that I didn't really work to lose the weight. This as i learned was so far from the truth. Because this journey has been hard,and a lot of work.BUT the results payoff and you see progress much easier.
I am 39 and before surgery weighed 200 pounds and had Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and degenerative disk disease in my spine. I have PCOS which makes weight loss very tough. Now just a few weeks after surgery , my diabetes is GONE, yes gone completely,my BP neds were cut to 1/4 th the usual dose, I have not had my cholesterol level checked yet though. My back pain has decreased so much that i no longer take three or four medications to make it through the day. i have lost 31 pounds in all, 9 being from the pre-op liquid diet I was required to do before surgery.
 I have many days where I truly miss food, I think I am hungry, but in reality it's only ''head hunger''. I sometimes mourn my relationship with food. And often miss certain foods. I do however try and eat these foods but I learn quickly my mistake. I tried to eat solid foods way to soon after surgery and I would be so sick and throw up .It was painful and the feeling that something is stick in your chest is very uncomfortable, so if you are reading this and thinking you can do the same, please don't.OR go ahead just one time and I am sure that you will regret the pain and misery. I strongly suggest you stick to your food plan.
 I am now eating solid foods and learning how little it takes to make me full, I have to learn to slow down because if I eat too fast then I get overfull, and of course I Vomit . ( not a great feeling) I had a tough time with the liquid food phase and the soft food phase , i completely skipped the pureed phase and moved right to solids. I think I may have lost even more weight if i hadn't tried to advance through the stages on my own. I am so addicted to chocolate that I devised a way to still eat it after surgery. i take small bites --and i realize now that it's unhealthy and I think it has also hindered my weight loss, my loss has stalled to barely a pound a week. And i know for sure that it is because of my eating habits. I know that I need to seek some counseling and redirect my focus onto healthy foods, so I am being painfully honest here so that others will hopefully read this and learn from my mistakes.
Getting the required protein is very tough too, in the workshops they teach you te eat protein first and most of the time I do that, however some days my craving for the not so healthy foods wins and I fill up on less nutritional foods first and do not get as much protein as i could. I haven't noticed the extreme hair loss that they want you will happen if you don't get enough protein, but I do see more hair on the brush and pillow lately, as i am vain about my hair I now focus more closely on protein choices and vegetables. I am able to eat about one cup of food total each meal.The egg beaters are excellent for me. I tried many protein shakes and powders and just can't seem to find the right one for me yet. I do enjoy the many different types of beans that are available to me and am concentrating on those. I learned with pintos and kidney beans I can smush them and add flavors like taco seasoning and it is great. I also sprinkle them with chili powder and dry mustard and celery seed and let them marinate overnight then heat up slowly and mash them, it has a good flavor for me and protein too. I was thinking of experimenting with adding unflavored protein powder to the refried beans but haven't done that yet, and honestly I don't think I will.