Ahh

Well dinner last night went GREAT---I ordered my glass of moscato and a salad as my main course, and took my time eating my meal and really enjoyed the flavors and the wine, I concentrated on conversation instead of food or my eating habits. I don't even think anyone paid any attention to what I was or wasn't eating. We all had a good time talking about life and laughing over the silly stories the guys told us. I was very nervous the first few minutes but soon overcame that and just relaxed.I did miss being able to order a huge platter of italian food and eting the yummy bread and marinara sauce, but I can 100 % say that I prefer the healthy feeling and new body I am developing much more than the huge plate of food....so my first scary event is over and I survived. Hopefully if anyone is reading this before surgery and has this fear or just wondering how different life will be this has helped answer that question a little.Yes I enjoyed the company instead of the food, the old me would have ordered a decadent dish that I couldn't make t home and probably ate most of it , but the old me is gone and the new me is here to stay, I am liking her a lot these days ! It's just like any new friendship or relationship, it takes time to adjust to each other and then once you adjust ya just fit together in a way that works...  I am learning new ways of living and mourning the old ones, yes as odd as that sounds I do miss my relationship with food some days, but I am enjoying the path this journey is taking me into.....for me it's not an easy road , but my grandma always said I would appreciate things more the harder I worked for them and she as the smartest woman I knew...I know she is proud of my choices and the steps I have taken !!!